There’s plenty more videos on Youtube but here’s three that I like the best and some written stuff as well.


Public Property


                                      There’s one train window,

floating in front of blurry shades of grey.

One fading lipstick kiss on the glass:

see the microscopic cracks

where the skin folded,

forming that almost-perfect shape.


What would possess anyone

to place their lips on part of this

survival from another century?

Smudged, fingerprint stained as it is;

garnished with grime and smog

from commutes to work and pub.


One last kiss too late, perhaps?

After the speaker crumples

stand clear of the doors please.

Slow moving on the tracks

made her insides split

like the cracks in the oily mark

she pressed here,

soft, instead.


But then how many girls

do you see past closing time?

Who could decide glass is as smooth

as the whole worlds cheek and

it’s only half as cold.


There’s just me,

picturing it,

as you engrave this fading mark.

The day you carved a lipstick kiss

on a surface,

to watch it shoot sideways       

into dark.

After Reading Jamie Oliver is the Second Biggest Selling UK Author


First, we need to quickly

bosh together all these

roughly sliced metaphors.

Note: this spud, which really

should have been binned last year,

is thrown into the mix

but the venisons left


on the kitchen table

(despite pouring out its heart).


Next we need to whack out

a hyperbole with

this steel whisk and bowl.

Explain we’d love to bake

Jamie in the oven

at two hundred degrees

for forty five minutes;

hear his fat lipped screams

as we assure this meat

is guaranteed British.


When done, it will appear

to be pukka and cool.

Cut up each of the lines

to three iams per plate;

health-wise bite-size portions

ensure your loving fans

don’t gorge, or grow obese,

as they slowly digest

on the turkey twizzlers

of your unpublished thoughts.



4 responses to “Poems

  1. Joel

    Your work is magic.

    • Thanks Joel! I thought I’d replied to this earlier but it looks like it didn’t work. I said something along the lines of “Thank you, you’ve brightened my day” and you really did 🙂

  2. Hi!

    Saw you on the BBC News this lunchtime, and had to look you up. Loving your work and how you listen and give back. Write on, man 😊

  3. Leanne Jones

    You my friend are a genius, this is exactly what the world needs more of! Thank you.

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